Friday, October 05, 2007

Depressed

[Comments received. Thank you for taking time to drop a comment or two. Really appreciate it. =)]

And so I was at the Fracture clinic of University College London Hospital yesterday afternoon. The backslab was taken off and the Sister put a brand new fibre glass plaster on. It's red! w00t! Did an X-ray and the consultant said I'm recovering well BUT I still cannot put any weight on my foot for AT LEAST 2 weeks! I'm given a sicknote for 4 weeks! 4 bloody weeks! The next appointmet will be on 31 Oct. Still a looooooooooooong way to go. Sigh
It's so depressing to stay in bed the whole day. I think too much and this makes me even more depressed about the situation. People have been telling me to enjoy the recovery process. Excuse me? enjoy? No fucking way! Don't you ever wish you were in my shoes.
I was so happy that I could go out of the house yesterday. I woke up early, got dressed, took 2 Panadol Actifast, had an apple and waited for my Aunt to go to the hospital together. The weather was brilliant and I enjoyed every single second of it. The moment I set foot into my room, depression sank in. When I looked at my bright red plaster, I felt depressed again. When I was hungry, I was depressed. I haven't been eating proper food for the past few days and I'm too embarrassed to get people to bring breakfast, lunch and dinner for me anymore. Whatever satisfies my hunger and is edible goes into my mouth- apples, oat cakes, chocolates, crisps and all sorts of junk food. It's unhealthy, I know but there's nothing much I can do. Occassionaly when the boyfriend comes home from work early, there's Wagamama for me. Sometimes, there's salad for lunch from the Italian next to his office. Sometimes, he takes away Wagamama and my flatmate will heat up for me the following day. But I cannot expect this everyday.
Argh. Fucking depressing.
I haven't had proper shower since 26 of September. Every night, I get a wet towel and clean my body. Every 2 or 3 days, either the bf or the flatmate carries a chair into the bathroom so I can wash my hair. I am disgusted at myself.
Hopefully I can put some weight on after 2 weeks. I might arrange for a taxi to bring me to and from work then. I CANNOT lie in bed and do nothing every day.
All I can do is count down till the day I can walk. And try to be slightly optimistic.

Monday, October 01, 2007

Being dependent

I've been staying in bed 23.5 hours a day. The remaining 30 minutes are spent moving up the stairs using my hands and bottom, toilet, bathroom, brushing my teeth and washing my face.

I hate being immobile.

I've been doing lots of thinking these few days. One thing I really, really miss being independent. Lying in bed all day long means I have to rely on everybody else to do everything for me. For a person who's so used to having things done by herself, it's really difficult to accept the fact. The first few days, I was crying silently because I could not bear the thought of not being able to do things by myself.

I just can't wait to start walking again.

Friday, September 28, 2007

Long Time No See

Hello there!

It's been a while huh?! I've lost the motivation to blog, I reckon.

1. I'm no longer unemployed. Good stuff! Pay day is today and I've got my salary in my bank account. Was thinking of splashing some money on the high street this weekend but unfortunately, I cannot do so. Why?

2. I fractured my right ankle. I fell off from the bed at 2.30am on the way to the toilet. The amazing thing was, I still managed to sleep after it happened. I was away in Bedfordshire to attend a course for a week but had to come home on Wednesday afterneoon. I went to UCLH yesterday morning to fix an appointment with the fracture clinic but was told I can only get the appointment within 10-14 days! I'm bored to death lying in bed all day long.

3. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm so damn bored. Why oh why did I have to fracture my ankle?

4. I'm soooooooooooooo bored.

5. I'll be back..... soon.

tata

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Moved. Again

Yes, I'm in my new flat again!

I was due to move out on 20/7 but I decided to move out 2 weeks earlier because I was having such a hard time at the old flat! That landlady is a witch I tell you!

Last Sunday night, the ancient toilet broke. It wasn't me because I used it before I showered and it was working perfectly well. After my shower, I heard someone using the toilet (either her or her husband) and after that the toilet stopped working. The water did not fill the tank. 10-ish, I heard her raising her voice "For God's sake, nobody uses the toilet every 10 minutes" or something like that. Basically she was accusing me of breaking the toilet because I use it so often. I just ignored and stayed in my room.

The following morning, there was a note on the toilet: Toilet Broken. Best if you spend day out.
Great. No toilet. Cannnot pee and poo. As if that wasn't bad enough, she took away the shower head. I went out during the day, spent some time at Borders and Starbucks and only left after I finished doing all the necessary 'businesses'.

In the evening, I overheard her telephone conversation. She was having a good time telling her friends about what I did. Obviously, she made up most of it. She said I used the toilet 6-10 times an HOUR! And added if I used the toilet that frequent, I have some problems and should go to the toilet. The toilet hasn't broke in 10 years. She called me a peasant!!!!! (What a bitch!) and a whole lot more rubbish.

I drink about 2 litres of water every day but I do NOT use the toilet every 10 minutes! On average, I pee about 6-8 times a day, which I think, is perfectly normal. Besides, that ancient toilet is 10 years old and hello! which toilet doesn't break?

Anyway, 10-ish at night when her husband came home on Monday, I heard her saying 'shit' this 'shit' that. All I could hear was shit, shit, shit and more shit. I didn't know what was it about until Tuesday morning. That witch accused me of pooing and didn't clean up! I found yet another note on the toilet: After you shit please clean up after yourself. Just because I came home earlier that her doesn't mean that I pooed in the toilet!

I could not shower and could not use the toilet. Pretty pointless living in hellhole, aye? I went to my friend's to shower for 3 consecutive days. Lady luck must be on my side when I found a flat just a block away from my old flat on Wednesday. Since then, I started counting down to Friday when I could finally move into the new flat. Every single day was so long and I thought Friday would never come.

I think it was Thursday morning when I set foot into the kitchen. Guess what I found- dusty filter. I did my laundry one day and I totally forgot to clean the dryer's filter. That evil witch put the filter on my tea bags and my plate! Oh for God's sake, does she have a brain at all? Putting dusty filter on my food and plate is just disgusting!!!!

Then I got a note from her saying that I had to vacate the flat when viewings take place (she's renting the room out after I leave). The viewing times were 5.30-8pm on Friday, 12-5pm on Saturday, and on weekdays, if required, 6.30-8pm, and the times are NOT negotiable. That is just ridiculous! Imagine if I didn't have my new flat now, what am I suppose to do? Stay on the streets of London?

Living with them is the biggest mistake ever! I'll never ever live with a landlady/landlord anymore. And I'll never never never ever live with a Kopi-O anymore. It doesn't matter if the other half is a White coffee. Kopi-O will remain a Kopi-O regardless how much bleach you use.

I'm just so glad that I'm in the new flat now!

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

This is what happens...

... When your parents don't update you about the new addition to the family.

*Phone rings*
"Hello. Nak cari siapa?"
Speechless. Shocked. Doesn't sound like my Mum. Can't be wrong number.
"Hello. Ini bukan Taman XYZ ke?"
"Ya betul. Nak cari siapa?"
"Ohh.. ni kakak baru ke?"
"Ya. Anak sulung kat England ke?"
"Ya. Ma'am ada tak?"
"Ma'am baru keluar"
bla bla bla bla bla...

=_=

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Don't Worry, Be Happy.

I guess you'll be glad to hear that I was in slumberland when they found the bomb in Haymarket. No, I wasn't clubbing in Tiger Tiger.

With all the bombs and terror threats going on, I've been avoiding the 'touristy' areas like Piccadilly Circus and Hyde Park. I wouldn't say I'm terrified to go out but as a safety precaution, I just stay at home. I have to say the news didn't hit me as badly as it did 2 years ago. I wasn't very surprised when I read about that. But.... But... But.... The great sale is on and I haven't been to any shops yet!

Perhaps it's a good thing that it's weekend and I absolutely hate hitting the shops on weekends. Perhaps Monday's a better day.

Anyway, I'm off to bed soon. Night!

Oh...

and be happy =)

Cheerios!

Saturday, June 23, 2007

睡不着

躺在床上翻来覆去
又睡不着了
9点的飞机去德国
是的,我又要去德国了

他在那边 我在这里
那么多个月
我的确有点累了
每个月只有那么短短的四天在一起
不见面的时候
就是靠手机维持这段感情

熬了那么多个月
终于要七月了
很快的 就可以摆脱这种用手机维持感情的日子
虽然不会每天见面
可是 好歹我们都会在同一个城市
要见面,只要搭地铁或巴士就行了

讲真的
这样谈恋爱很累
感情会渐渐转淡的
每天晚上 就是在盼望那手机响
每个月 就是盼望放假的时候
每次有假的时候 就在网上找机票
为的 就是短短那四天