The cloud that I can never catch...
I was spring cleaning the Inbox of my mobile phone 2 nights ago. Without realising, I've been keeping quite a number of messages sent by that someone. Not that special someone. The messages are very sweet. Whenever I read them, there was always a big grin on my face.
'Morning dear dear, what are you doing now?'
'Good night sweetheart, hope to see you in my dreams'
and so on.
That moment, a mood of melancholy descended on me. It has been quite some time since he last sent a text message to me. I remembered how sweet he was, how close (emotionally not physically) we were. That feeling! I have totally forgotten about it! He sent me messages that made me smiled before I tucked in bed, that made me smiled in the morning, that brightened up my day, that made my bad hair day a good hair day and so on. But, deep down inside, I knew we weren't meant to be together and will never be together. It was purely affection, not love, not lust. How can I love him when there's a special someone in his heart? I'm no where close to being his special someone.
I knew that I am not suppose to like him but I did anyway. His gestures, his text messages and the way he talked to me melted my heart. I fell into the trap. I knew I was wrong but I couldn't help it. Cold turkey treatment would mark the end of our friendship; but liking him won't bring our friendship to another milestone further either. There I was, in a self-induced dilemma.
Then the opportunity came. For one month, we weren't in contact. It just happened that way. It was pretty hard. For the first week, I realised how much I missed his text messages, how much I missed his voice and how much I missed seeing him occassionally. Then the second week came and went, so did the third and forth week. After that was exams. Time is the best solution to everything. Everything became normal after exams. We were in contact again. I have erased almost everything in my memory and started all over again. I now keep a tad distance away from him. I've made my mistake, rectified it and I do not wish to make the mistake again. He's still sweet and all but I have to keep reminding myself that I don't want to repeat the same mistake again.
No more mushy-mushy conversations, it's alright.
No more mushy-mushy text messages, it's alright.
I'd rather have a 'healthy' friendship than a 'unhealthy' friendship. I know I'm not desperate for his attention, his love. I have wonderful friends around me. As for another relationship... I'll let fate do the job.
And I'm glad that the text messages are deleted. =)
'Morning dear dear, what are you doing now?'
'Good night sweetheart, hope to see you in my dreams'
and so on.
That moment, a mood of melancholy descended on me. It has been quite some time since he last sent a text message to me. I remembered how sweet he was, how close (emotionally not physically) we were. That feeling! I have totally forgotten about it! He sent me messages that made me smiled before I tucked in bed, that made me smiled in the morning, that brightened up my day, that made my bad hair day a good hair day and so on. But, deep down inside, I knew we weren't meant to be together and will never be together. It was purely affection, not love, not lust. How can I love him when there's a special someone in his heart? I'm no where close to being his special someone.
I knew that I am not suppose to like him but I did anyway. His gestures, his text messages and the way he talked to me melted my heart. I fell into the trap. I knew I was wrong but I couldn't help it. Cold turkey treatment would mark the end of our friendship; but liking him won't bring our friendship to another milestone further either. There I was, in a self-induced dilemma.
Then the opportunity came. For one month, we weren't in contact. It just happened that way. It was pretty hard. For the first week, I realised how much I missed his text messages, how much I missed his voice and how much I missed seeing him occassionally. Then the second week came and went, so did the third and forth week. After that was exams. Time is the best solution to everything. Everything became normal after exams. We were in contact again. I have erased almost everything in my memory and started all over again. I now keep a tad distance away from him. I've made my mistake, rectified it and I do not wish to make the mistake again. He's still sweet and all but I have to keep reminding myself that I don't want to repeat the same mistake again.
No more mushy-mushy conversations, it's alright.
No more mushy-mushy text messages, it's alright.
I'd rather have a 'healthy' friendship than a 'unhealthy' friendship. I know I'm not desperate for his attention, his love. I have wonderful friends around me. As for another relationship... I'll let fate do the job.
And I'm glad that the text messages are deleted. =)
