Thursday, January 18, 2007

The Ex-File

Reading Jomel's post about her boyfriend meeting the ex reminded me of myself few months ago.

K shared a locker with his ex during term time. They had to clear the locker before the deadline.

On the bus to uni one day, he told me about the locker. He explained that he'd be meeting his ex so she could pick up her stuff as well. He asked me if I wanted to go to the locker room. I was dying to say yes. I wanted to see who she is. But I said no.

I never asked him about his ex-files until we got together few months later. I guess I'm too chicken to know his past history. Perhaps I'm inferior. I feel insecure. What is she's better than me? But he asked about mine when we went to Spain. We were strolling on the beach when he asked me and I told him everything about the exes. He didn't see it as a way of 'being a better boyfriend than the exes'. Rather, he saw it as a way to know me better.

I never looked at it this way. I see it as a competition. I want to be better than his ex. I want my exes to know I have a good boyfriend who is better than them.

Am I the only one who is being bitchy?

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