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Loner

I can be a loner at times. Anti-Social too.

I can confine myself in my studio for few days. I've been doing that since I came back from North Wales. 3 days and counting.

I don't feel like going out. It's too hot to stay in the studio and it's too hot to go out as well. Might as well stay in the studio, I think. I don't feel like seeing anyone. I just want to be a hermit. I have yet to talk to anyone face-to-face.

There is no need to pity me. That's me.

I was never an outgoing girl. I'm probably the odd one out at home. My parents are extremely outgoing. So is my sister. My brother is outgoing as well. I'm the weird one who enjoy staying at home. I go out when I'm in the mood or if I really have to- that's when my face is as black as a charcoal and I fake my smile when I see people.

Don't get me wrong. I do enjoy having friends around. It's brilliant having friends around and I can feel a difference in my life. But there are times when I just feel like being alone. I need time to reflect. I need time to cool down. I need time to think of the next step I should take. I'm not that type of person who opens up easily to the person sitting next to me.

I drowned myself in the cyber space today. I found out that Riverdance is performing in Dublin until end of next month. I feel like going. Alone. Just me, myself and I. Take a day trip. Fly in in the morning and fly back to London at night.

I've always wanted to go away by myself. A 3 days 2 nights trip to Isle of Man or Isle of Wight sounds perfect. All by myself. I've been toying with the idea for a long time but I haven't got the courage to do it- mainly because I know my parents, especially my Mom, will not allow me to do that. I dropped some hints but she said no right away. I did think of 'do first die later' (i.e. go for holidays first then tell her when I get back) but I'm too much of a coward to do that. I always have that negative feeling that if I go travelling without informing my parents, accidents will happen to me. That feeling always haunt me so I always make a point to inform my parents before I go on holiday.

I've always liked Riverdance. Watching the show live is like a dream come true to me. I can afford the ticket. I can afford to pay for my return air tickets. I can afford the time. I'm not afraid to walk on the streets of Dublin by myself. Now, all I need is a green light from either Dad or Mom and I'll be on my way to Dublin some time next month.

we all need our own solitude time. it's spending time with yourself and no one else, yea? pleasing no one else, waiting on no one else, responsible to no one else but yourself.. :)

Why not like this?

You write a snail mail to your parents, courier it or snail mail it... And then you go for your holiday.

Like this, you informed them before you go, and yet your parents can't say no. :P

loner makes it sounds so cacated. personal space.. personal space.. :P

May: Bingo! I normally do that when I'm a lil depressed. :) But it's all good now.

Jason: Cannot la like that. my mom will be so crossed if she knows that's how i do. my mom's damn good at emotional blackmailing me.

ken: Loner.. loner.. =P

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