Tears..
The phone rang around noon. I knew it was a bad news. In fact, I had expected the outcome since Wednesday but I was secretly hoping for a miracle. The moment I stepped out from the hotel, I have been praying for a miracle...
I wished my tear gate would open and allow my tears to flow freely after the phone call. I wished I had tears flowing down my cheeks. I wished I could bury my face in the pillow and cry my hearts out. But no.. I couldn't.
I was disappointed. Very, very disappointed with myself. I'm disappointed because I was unsuccessful. I was disappointed because there wasn't any miracle. I was disappointed because I refused to accept the fact that I will be unsuccessful, and I was hoping for a miracle which will never happen.
So I went online for a few minutes after the phone call. I told a few people that I've failed. And I went offline after that. I stayed in my tiny little studio all day long and finally I couldn't take it. I went out to get myself what I thought was my comfort food- McD. It was good to get out of the studio, but it wasn't good enough. McD isn't my comfort food. No smile on my face after that. No tears either. All I did was frown all day long.
I waited till 2am. 9am, Malaysian time. I rang home to break the news. And finally, I could feel the tear gate opening and soon, 2 stream of tears were flowing down my cheeks and two big drops of tears landed on the towel. A few more drops followed suit.
Hi Mi, I didn't get the job.
Never mind lah. You expected it anyway. She said...
Yealor... how funny...
I could feel Mom was in a rush to go else where because she didn't sound keen. So I asked for Dad.
Morning!
Morning Dy
So how, any news?
I didn't get the job.
Never mind lah. You went for the experience anyway.
But still.... I'm disappointed.
I'm not keen on you working for them if you got the job
Why?
Because it's a tobacco company! Well you should be proud of yourself because you made it this far. Try looking for local jobs.
But still... Dy.. It's a job! It'll be nice if I got through this round and they give me a job offer.
And the conversation continued while I held my tears.
So finally... I teared.
Edwin McCain sang this song.... I'll be your crying shoulder....
And I wished I had a crying shoulder now....
I wished my tear gate would open and allow my tears to flow freely after the phone call. I wished I had tears flowing down my cheeks. I wished I could bury my face in the pillow and cry my hearts out. But no.. I couldn't.
I was disappointed. Very, very disappointed with myself. I'm disappointed because I was unsuccessful. I was disappointed because there wasn't any miracle. I was disappointed because I refused to accept the fact that I will be unsuccessful, and I was hoping for a miracle which will never happen.
So I went online for a few minutes after the phone call. I told a few people that I've failed. And I went offline after that. I stayed in my tiny little studio all day long and finally I couldn't take it. I went out to get myself what I thought was my comfort food- McD. It was good to get out of the studio, but it wasn't good enough. McD isn't my comfort food. No smile on my face after that. No tears either. All I did was frown all day long.
I waited till 2am. 9am, Malaysian time. I rang home to break the news. And finally, I could feel the tear gate opening and soon, 2 stream of tears were flowing down my cheeks and two big drops of tears landed on the towel. A few more drops followed suit.
Hi Mi, I didn't get the job.
Never mind lah. You expected it anyway. She said...
Yealor... how funny...
I could feel Mom was in a rush to go else where because she didn't sound keen. So I asked for Dad.
Morning!
Morning Dy
So how, any news?
I didn't get the job.
Never mind lah. You went for the experience anyway.
But still.... I'm disappointed.
I'm not keen on you working for them if you got the job
Why?
Because it's a tobacco company! Well you should be proud of yourself because you made it this far. Try looking for local jobs.
But still... Dy.. It's a job! It'll be nice if I got through this round and they give me a job offer.
And the conversation continued while I held my tears.
So finally... I teared.
Edwin McCain sang this song.... I'll be your crying shoulder....
And I wished I had a crying shoulder now....
