Being Alone
I'm a little depressed today.
The boy's gone. For 7 weeks, at least. If we're lucky, we'll see each other soon but it all depends on his work load. How will his schedule be? Time will tell. We all know that investment bankers have crazy working hours. He might even need to work on weekends.
We started talking about this in Barcelona. Needless to say, I shed tears. On the Gatwick Express, I fought hard to stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks. Last night before I went to bed, I cried again. This morning, I was so quiet. I wasn't the monkey girl who annoyed him. When he wanted to pinch my nose, I didn't give him my usual reaction. Tears started rolling down my cheeks about 10 minutes before he went into the boarding gate.
And now, he's gone. For the third time.
I walked out of the airport alone. Took the train alone. Took the tube alone. Walked on the streets alone. It felt weird. Something was missing.
Nick is right. I've grown to be dependant on him. How can I not? We see each other everyday. For the past 10 days, we spent, on average, 23 hours a day with each other. That's at least 230 hours together. I wish I could freeze the time in Majorca and Barcelona.
I could fly over to spend weekends with him. Ryan Air has cheap flights. BA and Lufthansa have attractive offers now. Frankfurt is only an hour away. But... The last thing I want to do is to burden him. I can't speak German. I can't even strike a conversation. I can tell you what I know: 1-10, in 10 minutes, 104.6RTL and of course, the cheesy words. He might need to work on weekends. I don't want him to feel guilty for working and not spending time with me. I don't want to go over on weekends and see only see him for few hours a day and spend the rest of the time shopping/sight-seeing/cleaning the house. I guess it's too early to tell if I should fly over on weekends.
7 weeks. Seven long weeks. I know I will survive. We've done 2.5 weeks. We've done 3 weeks. I just need some time to get used to being alone again.
I'm looking forward to the 22 December... or maybe earlier.
Here's a picture of Juliet the Orange (from Juliet) and Leo (from him, because he's a Leo)
The boy's gone. For 7 weeks, at least. If we're lucky, we'll see each other soon but it all depends on his work load. How will his schedule be? Time will tell. We all know that investment bankers have crazy working hours. He might even need to work on weekends.
We started talking about this in Barcelona. Needless to say, I shed tears. On the Gatwick Express, I fought hard to stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks. Last night before I went to bed, I cried again. This morning, I was so quiet. I wasn't the monkey girl who annoyed him. When he wanted to pinch my nose, I didn't give him my usual reaction. Tears started rolling down my cheeks about 10 minutes before he went into the boarding gate.
And now, he's gone. For the third time.
I walked out of the airport alone. Took the train alone. Took the tube alone. Walked on the streets alone. It felt weird. Something was missing.
Nick is right. I've grown to be dependant on him. How can I not? We see each other everyday. For the past 10 days, we spent, on average, 23 hours a day with each other. That's at least 230 hours together. I wish I could freeze the time in Majorca and Barcelona.
I could fly over to spend weekends with him. Ryan Air has cheap flights. BA and Lufthansa have attractive offers now. Frankfurt is only an hour away. But... The last thing I want to do is to burden him. I can't speak German. I can't even strike a conversation. I can tell you what I know: 1-10, in 10 minutes, 104.6RTL and of course, the cheesy words. He might need to work on weekends. I don't want him to feel guilty for working and not spending time with me. I don't want to go over on weekends and see only see him for few hours a day and spend the rest of the time shopping/sight-seeing/cleaning the house. I guess it's too early to tell if I should fly over on weekends.
7 weeks. Seven long weeks. I know I will survive. We've done 2.5 weeks. We've done 3 weeks. I just need some time to get used to being alone again.
I'm looking forward to the 22 December... or maybe earlier.
Here's a picture of Juliet the Orange (from Juliet) and Leo (from him, because he's a Leo)
Leo & Juliet the Orange! they're really adorable :)
I know it's awful missing someone that much. hang on to your sanity, occupy your time with activities, and it'll be Dec 22 before you know it! time flies when you're not watching the clock. yes, you will survive! *hugs*
Posted by
Anonymous |
02:34
Aww... *sends you good warm hugs* Time will fly! You just watch..
Posted by
L B |
05:44
Awww.... *hugs*
7 weeks, very fast one, okay? 1 week 2 posts, and all you need is 14 posts.
Posted by
Jason Lioh |
07:22